Phillip and I feel like things have been going better with Mikey this week. We’re trying to spend more one on one time with him and I think that’s helping. His love language is definitely quality time and when he doesn’t get enough quality time with his parents he acts out more.
I got the boys’ room cleaned and organized over the weekend. One of closets in particular was a huge mess and basically not usable. That closet is now organized and they can easily find their toys and the boys both have Lego tables in their room. They’ve been playing with Legos a lot since we got the tables. I think it has really helped Mikey to have an organized room that makes sense to him. It was pretty haphazard moving him into Jackson’s room and it really hasn’t been truly Mikey friendly until this week. If things are organized and have a place Mikey can understand how to play and clean up when he’s done, and he’s very willing to do it. He’s very particular about making sure that each toy is where it belongs. But if he’s in a chaotic space, he just wants to make it more chaotic by throwing stuff everywhere.
A friend of ours made really cute canvases for the kids with their names on them to hang in their rooms. We hung them up over the weekend. For whatever reason Mikey was very upset about his and he wanted to take it down. I think he likes it, but I just think maybe he still considers the room “Jackson’s room” and he didn’t want his name on the wall in there. Or maybe he’s still hoping that he’ll get his old room back. I really don’t know why he got so upset, but we just took his down and put it away. I’ll try to put it up again another day. It wasn’t worth the fight. Today my thoughts were confirmed on this when Mikey basically told me that he wants his fish bed and his room back, but the girls won’t leave so he doesn’t have a room anymore. I reminded him that he does have a room. He just has to share it with Jackson. Everyone in our house shares a room with someone.
Mikey seems to be playing with Brittany a little better the last week. Although today he was screaming, “I don’t want to keep him!!!!” over and over again. It took me a minute or so to realize he was referring to Brittany. The “he” and “him” thing still confuses me sometimes. I don’t remember now what he got so mad about, but when he gets mad at her he’s not very subtle about how he feels. Mikey and I took a long walk this evening and he did tell me that he likes Brittany a little bit….just a little bit. I guess little by little is what we’ll have to take. He’s such a good kid in countless ways. We just have to figure out ways to help him be better.
Thankfully for now Brittany seems pretty unaware of his yuckiness towards her. She’s slowly learning when she needs to keep her distance from him, but when he’s willing to play with her, she is just in heaven. She loves to be around him. She laughs like crazy at his jokes and his antics. She’s pretty sweet with him most of the time and just genuinely loves being around him. We think Mikey has just made the decision not to like her, but occasionally he forgets. Their relationship right now is very much on Mikey’s terms. I know that’s not fair, but I don’t really know what to do about it.
Here are some photos from Tuesday. As you can tell, Mikey was pretty tolerant of sharing his space with Brittany. He even allowed her to lay on his back and climb on him for about 1 minute. He didn’t freak out at all. And I got a picture of Mikey, Brittany, and Jade sitting right next to each other but I can’t put it on the blog.
We’re doing the best we can to make our new family work. Some days are better than others. And just when we have a couple of really good days, we have one that makes us think we’re back to square one. So that’s kind of where we’re at right now, this week.
Just figuring it out, little by little.