Taking a few minutes

I have a few minutes to write. Phillip and I have to leave to shoot a wedding in less than an hour. The girls are back with their Mimi and Poppa for the night. Jack and Mikey are with their Nana and Granddad for the evening. So I’m in this house all by myself! It feels like forever since that has happened. So here’s just some ramblings about how things are going these days.

Tomorrow Mikey turns four! Four years ago we had no idea he was coming and now he’s here, plus two more! It’s insane. We’re having a smallish (okay, not really) gathering of friends and family tomorrow afternoon for his party. I hoped to have the Christmas stuff put away by his party, but I just haven’t had time so it’s still Christmastime at our house. I’m super excited about his cake. There will certainly be several pictures of it on here after tomorrow…whenever I get around to putting them on here. We’re going to get Mikey a two wheeled bike with training wheels. I have a feeling he’ll be riding it without training wheels in no time.

Jack and I started school this week, sort of. We did school Tuesday and Friday this week. Things went really well. I decided to try to “work box” organizational thing to do school. It’s pretty simple, really. You just get 8-12 or so file boxes, shoe boxes, plastic boxes, whatever and each night I (teacher/mom) put an assignment in each box along with instruction and supplies that he needs to complete it. The boxes are numbered and he needs to do them in numerical order during the day. Technically, he can take as long during the day to get it done as he wants to, but he can’t play video games until he’s totally done. And Jack really likes to just get school stuff done and out of the way so we finished by both days by around 11:00 or 12:00. This system causes me to have to be prepared for the next day and it keeps me from having to look through binders and find pencils and paper and whatnot while he waits. It’s all in his boxes ready to go. And I’ve also been putting little treats in some of the boxes too.

Things are going really good with Brittany. She’s a precious, affectionate little girl. She has been showing more of her strong will the last few days, but her “tantrums” or whatever they are are pretty mild compared to Mikey’s. But I think it’s tough getting a child who’s already 2 1/2 and being able to instantly feel like “this is my child.” I know it’s normal, but I still feel kind of guilty that I’m not instantly bonding with her yet. I know it will take time. I think she is very bonded with us already, but we’re just not quite there yet with her. I hope nobody thinks less of me for being honest about this. But I think there is this idea that when you adopt a child there’s this magical instant bond and love as soon as you see him/her and I just don’t think it’s always like that. It took us some time with Mikey too and he was a newborn. I know it will happen, but right now we’re trying to show her that we love her and that she’s our daughter in spite of not totally being there yet with our hearts. It’s a process of love more than an instant love. I guess you could use the phrase “fake it till you feel it.” Does that make sense?

Jade is a little easier in that respect. It’s difficult not to totally fall in love with a baby. She’s a super sweet, easy going baby. She hasn’t felt great the last few days so she’s been a little tougher, but I think she might be the most low maintenance of the four kids. I’m beginning to get the feel of her. You know how when you pick up someone else’s baby and they feel “weird” compared to your own. It’s like you get used to the way your kid feels in your arms. I feel that with Jade now. And I’m pretty sure Phillip does too. We’re beginning to see that she’s got a bit of a fiery temper and she throws her binky right at your face when she’s mad.

Well, it’s time for us to leave for the wedding. I wanted to try to get this published between gathering supplies and putting on my monkey suit. No proofreading has been done so give me a break if you find any typos.

6 thoughts on “Taking a few minutes

  1. Your doing great. You have the right to feel how you feel and no one can tell you its wrong. Good luck tomorrow and Happy Birthday to Mikey!


  2. I love your honesty and don’t think any less of you – in fact, I admire you. Thanks for letting us know how things are going because you are prayed for daily and I just know all will be well! Don’t live up to anybody else’s expectations except Christ’s and the people who have your best interest at heart.


  3. Jenny, How wonderful honest and heartfelt were your comments. But I think what you are feeling is normal and with time both of those little girls will be so deep in your heart just like Mikey.


  4. Thank you for being so honest. Some people do think it is instant love, but these girls were complete strangers to you and Phillip. I don’t know anyone that feels instant love for strangers. The love will grow in your hearts as you learn more about the girls and in the daily care of them. You and Phillip are doing a GREAT job!


  5. Happy birthday MIKEY!!!! Can’t wait to see the pictures! I think that the bonding thing is completly normal. I may get judged for this, but I carried Colton and didn’t bond with him as soon as he came out. I think it takes time. I loved him and would have done anything for him, but there wasn’t a bond immediatly. Give it time and as you go through the challenges on raising kids and the highs and lows you’ll build a bond. 🙂 Someday down the road I just know there will be a time when you can talk to both of them and tell them how your heart just fell for them day after day more and more and it was just how it was suppose to be.


  6. I’m with Amanda. I felt the same way about E. I loved him, but it wasn’t this instantaneous, magical feeling like I expected. It took time. To get to know each other. To understand each other. To learn each other.

    Don’t forget, you’re getting B in the prime of the “terrible two’s” so there’s that whole natural developmental stage you’re dealing with, too, on top of everything else. Things will settle down as you all grow and get to know each other. Understand each other. Learn each other. The bond will develop.

    Happy birthday, Mikey! Hope you guys had a great party for him.


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