Tonight I sat in the “purple chair” and held Brittany. I held her for about 10 minutes and sang to her. Except I didn’t just sing to her. She sang with me. We sang Robin in the Rain about 4 times. She loves that song. And Mr. Sun.
I’m ashamed to say that tonight is the first night I have sat in the chair in their room and held her like the baby that she actually is. I’ve been more concerned with her going to sleep “like a big girl” (…um, jenny, she’s 2!) than with taking a few minutes to sit and bond with her privately. But I’m figuring this out as we go. I need to cut myself some slack.
But anyway, I held my girl and kissed her forehead countless times and told her that I love her. She was so content in my arms. I hope she feels loved here. Her previous foster parents did such an amazing job with her, helping her know that she was loved. I hope she feels it here. And so, I will make an effort from this point on to sit with her in the chair in her room and sing with her before she goes to sleep. Because some things are just more important than “being a big girl.”
Lord, please forgive me for being concerned with things that just aren’t that important. Please help me to be who these girls need me to be. Please help me to be the mommy they deserve.