Sometimes when I drive in from a shoot I can hear squealing before I even get out of the car. I can’t tell from outside if it’s happy squealing or ticked off squealing. And sometimes I just want to get back in the car and go somewhere else. Tonight I walked in and it was very happy squealing and I was glad that I didn’t run away.

Sometimes when the noise level is too much I just sit with my face in my hands and try to think quiet thoughts. It doesn’t usually work.

Sometimes I forget which side to part the kids’ hair on when I brush it after their baths. I forget because there’s so many of them. Brittany’s parts on the left. Mikey’s parts on the right. Jade’s does whatever it wants. Jack’s parts on the right. One day I forgot what side my own hair parted on. Phillip doesn’t have any hair.

Sometimes I just glare at a child or children as I walk by for no reason at all, just on the not-so-off chance that they are plotting to do something they shouldn’t. I just want them to think I’m just a little bit off.

Sometimes the only thing I know to say is “I understand” even when I don’t at all. Because saying “I understand” shuts them up. I don’t know why, but it’s true. Sometimes “Oh wow!” or “That’s cool!” or “I don’t know” are the only things I know to say. And usually when I say those things I really have no idea what they are talking about and I really don’t care to figure it out. That’s probably lazy.

Sometimes I groan, growl, and/or snarl when they wake up. Even if they don’t wake up particularly early.

Sometimes I appoint blame to one child just based solely on what I hear from my office, without seeing the actual offense.

Sometimes I clean the floor just because it’s a task that I can accomplish, and I like seeing the swept up pile of dust, crumbs, and other crap and know that that particular mess is gone. So what if it immediately becomes dirty again.

Sometimes I can’t wait until they’re grown and move out.

Sometimes I want to freeze time.

Sometimes, when Mikey plays, laughs, and runs with his sisters every bit of it is so absolutely worth it.


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