Mom of many

*just in case you don’t want to read all of this, at least check out the cute kids at the end of this post.*

I am a mom of many. Three or more kids qualifies as many to me, although it may not to some people. You know, like those crazy people that have five or more. Anyway, just for fun, here are some things that moms of many do or don’t do. Or at least I do. Don’t judge. Unless you’re a mom of many. And I’m in no way saying that any of this stuff makes moms of many any better or whatever, so you one or two kid moms, just settle down. You’re equally awesome in your own right. And you probably have a much cleaner house.


– Moms of many will take the shirt off of the child, wet it in the sink, and use it to clean the child’s hands and face after dinner.
– Moms of many yell. They have to yell over the thoughts and sounds of many kids. Moms of many will yell even when they have company over.
– Moms of many rarely use hand sanitizer. I don’t think I even own any. Seriously, what is the freaking point??
– Moms of many let their kids watch too much t.v., according to the stupid Surgeon General or American Academy of Pediatrics or whatever.
– Moms of many don’t care what their children wear around the house and to some public places.
– Moms of many have lots of boundaries and rules, some of which may seem arbitrary or unreasonable to outsiders.
– Moms of many cuss. That’s right! And it’s a good day if they don’t slip in front of one of the kids.
– Moms of many use the same scanning technique that lifeguards use to make sure all of their kids are reasonably safe and accounted for.
– Moms of many pick their battles. But we sometimes pick stupid ones.
– Moms of many let their children suffer natural consequences. “You don’t want to wear shoes outside and it’s 50 degrees? Whatever. They’re your cold feet.” “You don’t like this food? Don’t eat it. I don’t care. It’s your hungry tummy.”
– Moms of many say “not my problem” 100 times a day.
– Moms of many yell. Did I already say that?
– Moms of many may say things like, “You’re making a really bad choice doing that. If you knock your teeth out, I’m just throwing them away.”
– Moms of many apologize a lot!
– Moms of many have certain things down to a science. Like going out in public. I believe that I’m the only person who can single handedly take our four kids grocery shopping without incident. It’s not fun, but it’s very doable.
– Moms of many can bathe three children at the same time in under five minutes.
– Moms of many have to say, “Yep. They’re all mine.” I usually add “sort of” at the end just to confuse people.
– Moms of many don’t give a rip about the dust on the ceiling fan. Seriously. Don’t. Care.
– Moms of many pray a lot, but sometimes it sounds like, “Oh, for the love of God!!” (Don’t judge)
– Moms of many lock themselves in the bathroom and take much longer than they need to just so they can have some time alone.
– Moms of many eat standing up.
– Moms of many are blessed, but it’s so easy to lose sight of it amidst the demanding chaos.


I could go on and on and on and on. But it’s time to make these kids clean up their messes and get on to bed. Moms of many love bedtime and they don’t let their kids stay up late.


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One thought on “Mom of many

  1. You have some seriously cute kids & you & Phillip are cute too & amazing parents! We love your family, if you need a break bring them over, but not too long – but it could be longer than an extended potty break!!! I know you hate to ask, but we would say no if we just couldn’t, unless you told us this was really serious, then we would do it no matter what! We love you guys that much!

    Like

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