I decided to cook eggs.

I don’t normally do any kind of cooking in the morning before school. In fact, 3 out of 5 days, my kids typically eat breakfast at school. I shoo them out to the car by 7:20 and then my job is done. But this morning, I decided to cook eggs.

Shouldn’t be a huge deal. It’s not that hard to cook eggs, but when you’re already at the maximum capacity of things to do, cooking eggs just doesn’t really fit in. I was stressed out. More than normal.

So when Mikey is doing his Mikey things… saying “chicken nugget” or “soy sauce” or “ice cream” or any combination of those plus any other words he wants, tapping on his glass incessantly, and asking all of the questions in the world, I snapped a little.

“Mikey!!! You are making me want to say EVERY bad word that I know….and I know a lot!!”

It’s really the eggs’ fault.

And later, because of the eggs, we were running late. They were all just standing there, waiting for me to bark commands as if they don’t know the things they need to do. So I said, “You guys are all just standing around with your thumbs up your butts. I don’t know how any of you get anything done.” I know, classy. Whatever.


Mikey…”If we were doing that, we would all need to go wash our hands.”

And then we all died laughing.

I decided to cook eggs, which led to a super stressful morning that ended with us all laughing. I don’t need to cook eggs, or anything really, before taking my kids to school. Not ever again.