Where is my heart anyway?

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Luke 12:22-34

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

So what is my treasure? Where is my heart anyway? I feel like too much of my time is spent cleaning the floors, picking up toys, wiping tables, doing laundry, making beds, washing dishes. So does that mean that my heart is in my house? Is that my treasure? I don’t want it to be like that. I feel like I’m doing all of it for my family. So they’ll have a safe, organized place to live and play.

But is it really for them? Or is it for me? Is it for my kids if I’m ignoring and reprimanding them so I can keep their home clean? Their bodies clean…their toys organized…their tummies fed…but do they feel loved?

Or maybe my treasure is my business. Maybe my heart is there. Hours are spent taking photos, editing, thinking about what camera equipment I will buy next. I identify myself as a photographer more than I identify myself as a Christ follower. But I do it for my family. Don’t I? Don’t I do it so that we can have enough money? Or do I do it for me?

Is Christ my treasure? At this point in my life I would have to say no. “Me time” is my treasure. Working is my treasure. Keeping up with the house is my treasure. My kids are sort of my treasure unless they interfere with the business and housework. Phillip is my treasure when I take a break from the other things.

But this is the thing, my heart isn’t in any of it. Because my real treasure is living a life that points to Jesus Christ. And since I’m not actively doing that, my heart doesn’t want to do anything else either.

Maybe if Christ is not my treasure, then maybe I have no treasures at all. And maybe I’m just spinning in vain.

In the midst of the craziness,

I’m thankful that…

Jackson has more freckles on his face than I can count.

Phillip didn’t say “No.”

Jade goes down for a nap more easily than possibly any baby on the planet.

Mikey randomly tells me “I like you” several times a day. (We won’t talk about how many times a day he tells me that he does not like me.)

Brittany is such a helpful child.

My friends who email, text, or call just to see how I’m doing.

Scott eats almost all of the food that the children drop on the floor.

We have lots of room in this house.

My kids have amazing grandparents, including two new ones who’ve been added to the roster.

Phillip is willing to do hard things even though they’re hard.

Jackson is self-motivated, for the most part.

Mikey still lets me pick him up and hold him sometimes.

I have lots of storage in this house to hide most of the clutter.

Brittany likes to sit and watch me fix my hair and put makeup on.

Phillip works with other people’s kids all day so I can stay home with our kids all day.

We were able to afford a vehicle to hold everybody.

Jade is such a snugly baby.

I have the ability to take photos of my kids to help me remember this time.

This is beginning to feel normal.

Brittany loves to sing along with the songs she knows.

Jackson is old enough now that I can say “stupid” and “crap” around him and know that he will neither be shocked or say them himself. He just smiles a little.

Phillip is the man that I married.

I am crazy enough to think we could do this.

We forget Mikey is adopted 95% of the time.

God equips those he calls.

Yeah, they still happen

Earlier today Jack and I were reading in Luke 9 about Jesus feeding the 5000 with the five loaves and 2 fish. I asked Jack how that was possible. He said he didn’t know. I told him it was a miracle. I asked him if miracles still happen today. Without pausing to think about it, he said “No” very matter of fact.

My kid is 8. He’s been raised in church. He doesn’t believe miracles still happen.

So I told him that what if there was a mom who had one baby, but then because of something wacky with her body, she couldn’t have anymore babies. And that same woman now has four kids. Would that be a miracle? He said “Yes, that would be a miracle.” I asked him if he knew what woman I could be talking about. I saw the light bulb moment as he said, “You?”

That’s right. Miracles still happen.

Then I told him to think about that same woman, the woman with the blood condition that she was born with, the same woman who got pregnant with four babies but they all died… I asked him what he thought about that one baby that she had first. The one who didn’t die.

Jackson said, “That’s a miracle.”

That’s right. Miracles still happen.

They happen every day.

Second chance for Christmas

I’ve been enjoying the series at church the last couple of weeks. It’s called “Second Chance Christmas” and it’s kind of about some folks in the Bible who were given a new lease on life and went on to be part of the lineage of Christ. People like Rahab, the prostitute, or Ruth, the widow, or King David when he lost his mind over Bathsheba. I love Old Testament stories and there are just so many good ones about God giving people second, third, fourth…chances to turn their lives around.

Today Greg talked about going from dysfunction to leaving a legacy with the story of David and Bathsheba. And I just couldn’t help thinking about these two little girls and Mikey. God has given them a second chance to have a family who will love them unconditionally, put their needs first, and guide them to become the people God wants them to be. God has taken them from dysfunction to a place where they will have a chance to leave a legacy. He’s breaking the cycle. And what is just so stinking cool is that He’s using us to help accomplish it. Mikey’s already gotten his second chance and these two little girls are going to get their second chance just in time for Christmas. So so cool!!

God is still at work, people. He’s not abandoned us. He’s not absent. He’s not powerless. He’s not apathetic. He is still orchestrating the lives of people everyday that they might have a new life.